may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
