my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
