He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
