and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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