I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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