I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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