That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
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I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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