he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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