I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize