I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
