you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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