She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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