gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Did I show you my penis last night?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.