dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.