Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??