He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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