I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
