just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
