Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
