You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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