Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
