last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
