Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
As shirtless as possible
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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