I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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