thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
