Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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