Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Found your dick twin last night
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
