At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
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woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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