I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
