you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
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I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
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I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Damn victory sex feels great
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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