can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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