Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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