At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize