She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
