yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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