these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Acid is not a monday night drug
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
