you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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