Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
