Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
