But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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