I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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