I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
are you so shy because you have an std?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
