you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
