she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
