Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.