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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.

  (1-615): View more from Tennessee

  I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?

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• (209): View more from California

  Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (904): View more from Florida

  And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...

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• (914): View more from New York

  I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night

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• (818): View more from California

  Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's

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• (308): View more from Nebraska

  The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad

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