Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.