just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?