After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
They have beer where we have blood.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately