Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.

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  (310): my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis. http://tfl.nu/isfk
  Replies (18) Good night (1183) Bad night (3213)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds

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  (269): We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds http://tfl.nu/v47x
  Replies (15) Good night (6864) Bad night (606)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.

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  (732): I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there. http://tfl.nu/dxiw
  Replies (7) Good night (3976) Bad night (1174)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed

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  (617): i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed http://tfl.nu/c1fn
  Replies (7) Good night (4634) Bad night (928)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?

  (317): View more from Indiana

  all hypothetical of course

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  (317): if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all? (317): all hypothetical of course http://tfl.nu/v0tg
  Replies (14) Good night (5545) Bad night (1244)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.

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  (817): Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment. http://tfl.nu/9yfj
  Replies (4) Good night (988) Bad night (2355)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me

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  (850): It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me http://tfl.nu/a5dr
  Replies (4) Good night (2607) Bad night (942)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.

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  (402): I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted. http://tfl.nu/yox0
  Replies (27) Good night (8044) Bad night (1193)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.

  (850): View more from Florida

  This has already gotten way out of hand

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  (336): Two words. Shotgunning Cognac. (850): This has already gotten way out of hand http://tfl.nu/ow6e
  Replies (4) Good night (1345) Bad night (629)
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  (585): View more from New York

  She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back

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  (585): She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back http://tfl.nu/7ssu
  Replies (2) Good night (1307) Bad night (555)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.

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  (479): Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom. http://tfl.nu/7rpj
  Replies (7) Good night (2979) Bad night (680)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?

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  (330): I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit? http://tfl.nu/uql2
  Replies (3) Good night (593) Bad night (295)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday

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  (402): Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday http://tfl.nu/hnnk
  Replies (0) Good night (319) Bad night (412)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?

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  (757): Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures? http://tfl.nu/69o8
  Replies (11) Good night (309) Bad night (1022)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween

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  (508): Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween http://tfl.nu/vg53
  Replies (6) Good night (473) Bad night (222)

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