Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
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I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
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Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
