Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(305): View more from Florida

If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?

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(305): If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette? http://tfl.nu/wdb5

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.

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(262): I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down. http://tfl.nu/o90m

Replies (43) Good night (6310) Bad night (1047)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.

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(484): I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition. http://tfl.nu/zjox

Replies (9) Good night (4993) Bad night (933)
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(434): View more from Virginia

The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever

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(434): The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever http://tfl.nu/goyi

Replies (22) Good night (7771) Bad night (1285)
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(314): View more from Missouri

The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired

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(314): The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired http://tfl.nu/0mk4

Replies (12) Good night (4461) Bad night (889)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.

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(267): i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man. http://tfl.nu/8n1a

Replies (3) Good night (1492) Bad night (690)
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(315): View more from New York

Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.

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(315): Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina. http://tfl.nu/ovxs

Replies (18) Good night (2387) Bad night (621)
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(207): View more from Maine

someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?

(1-207): View more from Maine

since 2006

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(207): someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship? (1-207): since 2006 http://tfl.nu/9t6c

Replies (7) Good night (2274) Bad night (612)
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(256): View more from Alabama

I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership

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(256): I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership http://tfl.nu/f2mt

Replies (7) Good night (1041) Bad night (542)
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(720): View more from Colorado

ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.

(1-720): View more from Colorado

Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.

(720): View more from Colorado

I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.

(720): View more from Colorado

I rest my case.

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(720): ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO. (1-720): Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving. (720): I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW. (720): I rest my case. http://tfl.nu/ktzi

Replies (10) Good night (2198) Bad night (574)
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(720): View more from Colorado

The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.

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(720): The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby. http://tfl.nu/rm20

Replies (3) Good night (972) Bad night (399)
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(636): View more from Missouri

2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?

(314): View more from Missouri

Please tell me those aren't related.

(636): View more from Missouri

I made rice.

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(636): 2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap? (314): Please tell me those aren't related. (636): I made rice. http://tfl.nu/b642

Replies (2) Good night (484) Bad night (1126)
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(214): View more from Texas

Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer

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(214): Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer http://tfl.nu/w9ex

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...

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(+44): wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay... http://tfl.nu/ag6z

Replies (5) Good night (742) Bad night (268)
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(208): View more from Idaho

Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.

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(208): Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow. http://tfl.nu/loua

Replies (3) Good night (712) Bad night (376)

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