We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Randomize
