Texts From Last Night

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  (770): View more from Georgia

  If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.

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  (770): If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day. http://tfl.nu/zol0
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  (917): View more from New York City

  i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere

  (1-917): View more from New York City

  no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john

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  (917): i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere (1-917): no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john http://tfl.nu/sfec
  Replies (24) Good night (5619) Bad night (649)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook

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  (+44): If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook http://tfl.nu/6gha
  Replies (8) Good night (5540) Bad night (877) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though

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  (817): Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though http://tfl.nu/u94q
  Replies (16) Good night (7035) Bad night (972) Order T-Shirt
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.

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  (226): I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth. http://tfl.nu/6j12
  Replies (20) Good night (4538) Bad night (1485) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea

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  (206): riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea http://tfl.nu/w3tl
  Replies (4) Good night (1508) Bad night (1320) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"

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  (210): Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!" http://tfl.nu/xp9i
  Replies (19) Good night (5660) Bad night (998) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.

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  (978): Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea. http://tfl.nu/15nf
  Replies (8) Good night (698) Bad night (1286) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.

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  (847): I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina. http://tfl.nu/1g8w
  Replies (8) Good night (630) Bad night (1286) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs

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  (973): you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs http://tfl.nu/j1c8
  Replies (6) Good night (2388) Bad night (538) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?

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  (410): What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots? http://tfl.nu/z5fp
  Replies (6) Good night (1011) Bad night (334) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.

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  (780): I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat. http://tfl.nu/b7sx
  Replies (6) Good night (1250) Bad night (362) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins

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  (845): Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins http://tfl.nu/if6l
  Replies (5) Good night (1218) Bad night (419) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.

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  (512): While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before. http://tfl.nu/erll
  Replies (7) Good night (1786) Bad night (426) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.

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  (541): I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila. http://tfl.nu/lzm1
  Replies (1) Good night (561) Bad night (125) Order T-Shirt

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