I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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