Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
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Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
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learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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