It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
