Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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