you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
