haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Randomize
