He is such a slut. More and more my type.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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