Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
