if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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