just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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