She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I FOUND THE LEGS
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
