i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
