ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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